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I followed her gaze to the fashionable Trustafarian girls at the next table. "This is a funny place to live, isn't it? Don't they know what they want to put on in the morning?" "What a surly girl, doesn't she speak English?" huffed Mum at her retreating back. "Half fat de-caf cap and a latte," I whispered apologetically. "Espresso? Filter? Latte? Cap: half fat or de-caf?" snapped the waitress, sweeping all the plates off the table next to her and looking at me accusingly as if Mum was my fault. Why? Is it desperate mature person's plea for attention and importance, or is it that our urban generation are too busy and suspicious of each other to be open and friendly? I remember when I first came to London I used to smile at everyone until a man on the tube escalator masturbated into the back of my coat.
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But could you warm me up some milk? I can't drink cold milk in coffee. I've had so many cups of tea this morning up in Grafton Underwood with my husband Colin that I'm sick to death of tea. Mum went into her slow, kindly 'Let's try to make best friends with the waiting staff and be the most special person in the cafe for no fathomable reason' voice. Not sitting on the fence all the time in all these fudges and slurries. You need to make a statement about yourself. "Oh don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, darling. "Mum, I've told you I don't want my colours done," I muttered, scarlet, as people stared and a sulky, rushed-off-her-feet waitress bustled up. Thought I'd pop in and see when you want your colours done. "Just on my way to Debenhams and I know you always come in here for your breakfast. Wonder if Una and Geoffrey Alconbury would let us put marquee on their lawn for the recept- Gaaah! Was my mother, walking into my cafe bold as brass in a Country Casuals pleated skirt and apple-green blazer with shiny gold buttons, like a spaceman turning up in the House of Commons squirting slime and sitting itself down calmly on the front bench. Anyway, must not obsess or fantasize.ĩ a.m. That would indeed be sick in manner of Oedipus)?Ĩ.55 a.m. Wonder what Mark Darcy would be like as father (father to own offspring, mean. Truth is want to, in bizarre possibly genetic-throwbackstyle way such as could not admit to Sharon.Ĩ.50 a.m. Also he is coming round again tonight so have to go to supermarket either before or after work. also disturbed by Mark folding up underpants at night, rendering it strangely embarrassing now simply to keep all own clothes in pile on floor. complicated actually having man in house as cannot freely spend requisite amount of time in bathroom or turn into gas chamber as conscious of other person late for work, desperate for pee etc. Is relief to have fag in open and not to be on best behaviour. In Coins Caf6 having cappuccino, chocolate croissant, and cigarette. Was Mark Darcy sitting bolt upright yelling, "Bridget, will you stop. Must not make noise, realize, but maybe could wake Him subtly by thought vibes.ħ.50 a.m. Or - come to think of it - milk.ħ.35 a.m. Except do not have any mushrooms or sausages.ħ.34 a.m. Depending what Eggs Benedict or Florentine actually are.ħ.32 a.m. I know, will get up and make him fantastic fried breakfast with sausages, scrambled eggs and mushrooms or maybe Eggs Benedict or Florentine.ħ.31 a.m. Maybe he will wake up and talk to me about my opinions.ħ.30 a.m. Feel marvellous, rather like Jemima Goldsmith or similar radiant newlywed opening cancer hospital in veil while everyone imagines her in bed with Imran Khan. For four weeks and five days now have been in functional relationship with adult male thereby proving am not love pariah as previously feared. With thanks to Gillon Aitken, Sunetra Atkinson, Peter Bennet-Jones, Frankie Bridgewood, Richard Coles, Richard Curtis, Scarlett Curtis, Pam Dorman, Ursula Doyle, Breene Farrington, Nellie Fielding, the Fielding family, First Circle Films, Andrew Forbes, Colin Firth, Paula Fletcher, Piers Fletcher, Henrietta Perkins, Tracey MacLeod, Sharon Maguire, Tina Jenkins, Sara Jones, Emma Parry, Harry Ritchie, Sarah Sands, Tom Shone, Peter Straus, Russ Warner, Working Title Films, for inspiration, feedback and support.ĩst 3 (total fat groove), boyfriends 1 (hurrah!), shags 3 (hurrah!), calories 2, 100, calories used up by shags 600, so total calories 1,500 (exemplary).ħ.15 a.m.